Lewis Cass High School, Walton, Indiana,

Kings' Courier

To be, Not to be, Full is Key

Advertisement

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Fake it until you make it. Fake it until you make it. Fake it until you make it. I cannot stress to you how many times I have heard this lately. Does it work? Do you agree you should “fake it until you make it” to gain a brighter feeling?

It seems to me now that more than ever in any situation, frustrating or difficult, people say that there is “always” a way out of complicated times. My question to those people would be, what is my way? How do I escape those times, the times that seem to be consuming me on the daily, because I can tell you right now I’m more than willing to know.

Everyone has some problems in their lives. If you want me to be completely honest, lately all I’ve wanted to do is give up, just give up on everything. I’ve wanted to give up on school it feels to me that now matter how hard I work in class, I still seem to get my butt kicked. I can never seem to do the best to please my needs. I’ve wanted to give up on my job people seem to become so aggressively upset when I don’t do what they want how they want. I’ve wanted to give up on my sports, just because I bust my butt in practice doesn’t mean I get to prove myself in a game. Sometimes I feel like that practice dummy on the court. I’ve wanted to give up on my friends a lot. Lately, I’ve felt nearly isolated because I’m not “up to their level.” Since when is there a level? Why does it truly matter who I am or how I act as long as I’m a decent friend? Most importantly, I’ve wanted to give up on myself. I feel like no matter how hard I try, sometimes I will just simply not be enough.

When I’m at my best yet mood, I feel so risky. I feel as though I can do anything and everything and know I wouldn’t mind the outcome; however, when I’m in a bad mood, I don’t want to try anything let alone do anything. It’s like I don’t want to risk myself in making a bad decision into a worse situation. My morning can start off great, but by the time I get to third period my day just doesn’t really work out the way I want. Some days I’m just not in the mood to deal with anyone. I don’t feel like talking to people who say “hi Maddie” to me in the hallway every single day. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE that the underclassmen make it a daily to talk to me during passing period. I don’t know why but the little convos I have in the hallway with people I don’t know is something I look forward to everyday.

Unfortunately, when I have my off days, I may come off as irritated. Some days I don’t feel like participating in a class discussion because I know what I say probably isn’t right. Some days I don’t feel like staring at a textbook or slideshow for 45 minutes booked with information I’ll probably forget within 10 minutes after the class is over. Some days literally everything annoys me. What’s the catch to all of this? I don’t show the actions these situations hardly ever I think them a lot but I don’t show them because I know there are people who keep an eye on me.

Ashli Key once told me that things turn drastically different when I am not positive or attempt to reach my full potential and it really makes me think about who I truly am. I’ve always been the girl who truly tried be happy and have a better sense of feeling about life. I was the girl who always told someone who was having a bad day that things will get better and to think of the good life. When life goes bad, just hope that things will get better. It’s like I always had words to say they might not have always been right but at least they were encouraging. I tried to be that happy person other people could surround him or herself with. I was the one who accepted things the way they were. If I did poorly on a test, I accepted that because I knew I could make it up with corrections. If I knew I made a fool of myself answering a question in front of the class, I would just laugh off the fact that I totally misunderstood what was going on. I mean, why get mad? The teacher is most likely going to explain him/herself? If I knew that someone was making a smirky comment behind my back, I would just brush it off. I know I am better than someone who feels the need to talk about someone else, especially behind their back.

I never really lost hope so easily. Even when I wanted to pull my hair out, I tried to remain positive because I felt like it would help me think more positively. I believed that if I didn’t lose hope and always thought positively, I wouldn’t have to settle for anything less. As you can tell, I am not always that optimistic, adverse person. My days do fluctuate as the week goes on.   

While this may all seem uncertain and random, there is a mere purpose to EVERY single thing I just mentioned. I wanted to give you a personal aspect of what may go through the mind of someone who may seem to “put their life well together.” The thoughts that I just threw describes me TO A T as to how I have been feeling lately. To the people who have been asking me “are you okay?” or “what’s going on, you haven’t been yourself?” I would honestly direct them to this article. Right now, no I may not be okay and yes, I know that I’m not being myself but please understand that as a senior in high school there is so much intense stress built up inside me I’m like a jar of unsaid thoughts.

As much as I want to give up, I will never give up. Times will be difficult especially when you go through difficult situations. Lately, life has been putting me through challenges that I don’t always know how to handle. Some things I know I can accomplish, some things it seems like I can’t, but in the end the only thing I can do is be positive and know that those hard days will get better.

Someone who has sought to see the best of me once told me, “Even though that right now everything may seem like.. Everything it’s not. You cannot carry the weight of the world on your shoulders even though you want to Mads. ” I took these words to heart more than someone would’ve expected because I guess I want to be like superwoman. I want to be able to be the person everyone knows me as. I want to be the one who will never leave her friends side even through the tough times WHILE being the person that can overcome her own challenges.

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

3 Comments

3 Responses to “To be, Not to be, Full is Key”

  1. mdish72 on October 9th, 2017 12:07 pm

    Maddie, you are truly amazing. Please never give up and keep pushing on to overcome those challenges. I know you can do and trust me, I understand that “off” feeling that you are experiencing. These challenges are the ones that we will remember the most because those are the ones we overcome and conquer the best. I hope everything goes okay as the year go on and if you need anything, I am only one phone call away. Overall, great article and I am glad you truly expressed yourself. Love you Mads!

    [Reply]

  2. Brooklynn Fye on October 9th, 2017 2:16 pm

    This is simply perfect squeak. A great article about everyday life and the challenges that come along with it. Please keep being you even on your tough days. You bring a smile to everyones face even when you don’t know it. I am so glad I can say I know you, and have seen you blossom over the past years. Keep bringing light into the world!

    [Reply]

  3. Leslie Martin on October 9th, 2017 9:08 pm

    Mads,
    You are an amazing young lady who let’s much get to you. I have told you before you can’t carry it all you have to learn to let go. Be the best you can be. I love you kiddo.

    [Reply]

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




*

Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Courier Top First Person Feature

    Senioritis Struggles

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Courier Top First Person Feature

    Family Doesn’t Always Come From Blood

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Courier Top First Person Feature

    Becoming Me

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Courier Top First Person Feature

    Bad Case of the Mondays…Literally!

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Courier Top First Person Feature

    High School Tears

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Student Life

    Bunny Fever

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Showcase

    Kings’ Cast 10-13-17

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Sports

    Chasing The Heisman Trophy

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    Student Life

    Stepping on to the IU field

  • To be, Not to be, Full is Key

    News

    Mr. Bonnell: District 4 Middle School Principal of the Year

Lewis Cass High School, Walton, Indiana,
To be, Not to be, Full is Key