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An Open Letter to Myself

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Dear Meggy,

 

Hey. How’s it going? Just kidding, I know how you’re doing. It looks like you have been dealing with a lot lately. I know you’re not the person to really speak about the situations that are troubling you, but I think you should. You’re so quiet when it comes to problems and that you shut the world out. When that happens, I always ask myself ,“What happened to the loud, outgoing, lovable girl?” I also wonder why I never see that cheesy smile you do when you’re happy. That smile can really get you going, but for some reason it’s not there as much anymore. Are you heartbroken? Are you having family troubles? Is it about school? No one knows except you. That is the problem.

Megan, you shut everyone out since day one. I remember when you were little and you would hit your head on the sidewalk from falling off your bike. You would cry and cry for hours, but would not tell anybody what was wrong. You would just tell them you were going to be fine and not to worry about it. Now you’re doing the same thing. Your family is having a little trouble lately and you’re not speaking to anyone. Your grandma is breaking bones and is hard for your mom to get back and forth. Both of you are trying to figure out what to do and how to be unstressed. Your mom is begging you to speak but no words come out. Your boyfriend is trying to make you open up but the emotion is not there. All you do is sit quietly in the chair at home and let music consume you as your voice. I know that makes you feel relaxed and get away from anxiety trying to grab you, but you really need to speak. All you do is sit quietly and don’t do anything. Megan, you need to do what’s right.

As you sat in that chair last night, I made you think of old memories. I made you look back at old pictures of yourself when times were happy and fun. The one I made you pick is one of you at the beach. That picture, to me, is utterly breathtaking. The way the sun is shining on your hair and face, the way your cheeks were red from the sun and heat of the day, but most of all the smile on your face was the eye catcher. Your smile is the hook line of your personality. Yes, your smile is as cheesy as, well, cheese, but that smile is the way you mainly express yourself. That smile is you being happy. You are careless in that picture. No stress, no worries. Now my question is why? Why are you not like that anymore? Why did the light have to fade away the past month? Why is the smile fading? Why? Hopefully, you can answer these questions on your own without my help. I hope you know, Megan, that there is still time. There is still time for hope.

Hey. I saw what happened with you and your mom last night in the car. You finally did it didn’t you? You told her how you have been feeling about the situation lately. You finally spoke up. I just wanted to let you know that I am proud of you for finally speaking your mind. This is the new step for not only you but for your mom as well. She knows now. She can be happy again since she knows. You two can be happy again and just know she is always there for you. She wants to see that smile I see so just know that she may be quiet with you for a while, but she craves to see that smile like I want to. We love you, Megan. Don’t give up on yourself.

 

Always Love You,  

Your Conscience

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2 Comments

2 Responses to “An Open Letter to Myself”

  1. Ashli Key on February 1st, 2018 8:29 am

    Amazing article Meg! I love how you really spoke your mind and didn’t hold back. A lot of people would be nervous or not even write something so personal. Your transition from bad to good was good! I loved it!

  2. Kirstyn Kiger on February 1st, 2018 11:50 am

    I loved this article! You spoke about something very personal to you, and you showed your true strength. I like how you wrote this from the perspective of your conscience. Great job, Megan!

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Lewis Cass High School, Walton, Indiana,
An Open Letter to Myself