Do you smell something? Is that sewage I smell? Oh, I forgot, it’s the reeking smell of West Lafayette. Not just the fans, but the program as a whole. The delusional “Ross-Ade Brigade” has been annoying since the dawn of Purdue University in 1869, despite having no “real” National Championships to come home to. This lack of actual success causes many Boilers to over-compensate by making the sport of college basketball annoying for the rest of the Big Ten and beyond. In recent years, we have seen the many faces of “stars” that the fans of Purdue will pray to, still to this day. These stars tend to die out when the month of February comes to a close. Matt Painter is running another year of false hope that’ll lead to annoying tears like every other March. The leader of this propaganda for another year is none other than Zach Edey, who skipped the draft in order to destroy the dreams of any team due to his foul-able shape. This decision proves Zach Edey knows he has no real future in the NBA, so he is going to take his time at Purdue and ruin college basketball for the rest of the nation.
Growing up in Canada, Zach Edey was never interested in basketball until his sophomore year. This is where Zach learned that his freakish height makes it impossible for people to even try guarding him. This unfair advantage led Edey to receive many Division One offers but resided at Purdue due to Matt Painter’s hypnotizing. As Edey made his way through the college roster, he was recognized as the tallest player in Big Ten history, according to IndyStar. His freshman season was a successful one, with an average of nine points and four rebounds, which earned him a spot on the Big Ten All-Freshman Team, according to TribuStar. Once Edey’s sophomore year hit, he earned his starting spot and led Purdue to a Sweet Sixteen finish. This season ended with an embarrassing loss to Saint Peter’s, which is nothing new for Purdue fans in March. The year prior, the Boilers took the first plane home when they lost to the “Mean Green” of North Texas, a school that is minuscule in size when compared to Purdue. These two losses seemed like once-in-a-generation embarrassment, but little did they know what was about to hit them.
Going into 2022, Zach Edey became a problem for many teams, as Purdue started off hot with wins against top-ranked programs like Marquette, Duke, and Gonzaga. This 13-0 start gave tons of hope for the Boilers, which led to floods and floods of talk about how Zach was the next Jesus and how “it’s Purdue’s year”. The one thing Purdue fans could not brag about, however, is that rival Indiana University swept the Boilers in dominant fashion. Despite this roadblock, the train kept pushing and the egos kept growing as the Boilers would win the regular season and the tournament title for the Big Ten. Going into March, Purdue had high expectations and even higher denial. Despite Zach’s effort, Purdue would tank versus the sixteen-seed Fairleigh Dickinson University. Zach Edey put up a double-double in this game and was the only proficient shooter against the Knights, as reported by ESPN.
After this loss, Zach declared for the draft, but quickly took back this opportunity when Purdue’s NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) group paid over one million dollars to bring him back, says Forbes. Was this a call to Zach or was this a “get out of jail free card”? This withdrawal took place after the NBA draft combine, where Edey’s stats varied from average to very much subpar. Other than European star Victor Wembanyama, the 2023 draft class was not very exciting. Edey’s stats were in the bottom half of this class, as stated by CBS Sports. What does this say about Zach? He is scared. His massive size of seven-foot-four and weight of 305 pounds may look daunting but he gets pushed around like he’s a ragdoll. This is where Zach became a cheat code, as his ability to be pushed around looks like he is being fouled, every. single. possession. Once the opposing team gets into foul trouble, it is game over. In the league, however, this strategy does not work, as everybody is way more physical than in college and Zach will get thrown around until he comes crashing down. If you still believe that Zach’s size will save him, look at what past Boilers have achieved in the league. Out of the sixteen current pros who graduated from Purdue, only Jaden Ivey is still in the NBA. Players who shined like Carsen Edwards, and Trevion Williams have shipped off to Europe where they can actually flourish and have a career. As the 2023 NCAA basketball season continues, we will see much more of Zach Edey and the top-ranked Boilers. Through November, we have already seen many key matchups and upsets. We never know who will survive in March. One thing is certain, however, the Boiler Express will ride for the future to come, but for Zach, the train ends here.
