I have stood on a stage with shaky hands, a thumping heart, trusting as soon as I sang that first note, I would remember who I was. Singing became my escape, my way out, the hand I could always reach for. I have always adored music from an early age. From singing on my little karaoke machines to performing in musical productions on stage, music has been something I have never gotten bored with. Every rehearsal allowed me to step into someone else’s narrative, all the while figuring out my own. When I could not emotionally open up to others, I had the opportunity to do so through music. When uncertainty was all I felt, music was the backbone keeping me upright.
Each role I embodied throughout high school taught me a different, lasting life lesson. Little Red Riding Hood, the first big role of my career, taught me resilience and growth. Little Red faced unexpected setbacks, emotions that overtook her, and many mental struggles that no young girl should face. Little Red’s optimism and transformation taught me that no matter what I am facing, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
The next role I was honored to embody was Sour Kangaroo in Seussical the Musical. Stepping into this character required something entirely different. Confidence, independence, and the courage to be loud and noticed. Through her, I gained my strong voice and presence, even when hope is far from reach.
The next pivotal moment in my musical career was the role of Sandy Dumbrowski from Grease, the shy girl in an unfamiliar environment. Sandy met a guy and transformed herself. This transformation and the emotional vulnerability were amazing for me to embody because I, too, have similarly struggled. In my head, my emotions told me to bottle them up and not to show people I am weak. Through this role, I learned no one defines who I am or how I feel, except myself.
Most recently, I took on the role of Jovie in Elf, a role that reminded me a lot of Sour Kangaroo. She was strong, ornery, and never let anyone sway her opinions. Jovie looked tough on the outside and acted sharp towards others, yet deep down, she was searching for emotional approval and someone to lean on. When I see myself as Jovie, I connect with her in ways I could have never imagined.
My experience with music goes well beyond performing and singing on my own. I have found my own interest in the way music is made, how characters are developed, how shows are written, and what truly goes into becoming an artist. Music composition and music production are ways to bring people together. A way to bridge emotions together, and make everyone feel their emotions truly, and performing has helped me realize this. Music has not only taught me that people feel the same way I do. Music is communication and art that some people may not understand, but the amount of joy and healing it brings to me and others, which I can witness through performing, makes me feel complete.
Performance has been my escape, a way out, a ladder up from the depths when I was struggling. Whether I am listening to music, writing my own, or up on a stage under the brightest of lights, belting my heart out, there is always the most illuminating feeling in my soul. Whether tears are streaming down my face or I am in the happiest of moments, music has been there for me through it all. To have something there for you in your loneliest moments that you know you can always turn to gives off the most reassuring feeling. I will always chase the dream of performing, with music right by my side.
